Sharon asks…

is it christian to have a mail order bride?

i just want to know what Christians think of this…yeah, Christians only, otherwise it would defeat the purpose…i know of the belief of waiting for God’s timing, but also that of taking advantage of opportunities,not of people.

Tom & Susan answers:

This is really a question of how well you can get to know your future wife, before you make that commitment and send for her.

Christians are supposed to do their best to marry someone who is also a believer, right? In the Bible, Paul tells Christians to “be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” That’s because it makes your life unnecessarily difficult when you marry someone who disagrees with your fundamental beliefs. People get married to have a happier and more pleasant life—not to introduce more stress into it. And since religion is one of the most divisive issues in the world, I think you’d want to make real sure your fiancee and you are both on the same page about it, before you tie the knot.

Sure, there’s always the chance a mail order bride might tell a guy she’s a Christian just to get him to marry her. And that’s one of the inherent risks of choosing a spouse long-distance. I’d say, the more time you spend communicating with her, the better and more complete picture you’ll get of what kind of person she is. I’d make sure I was at least 90% confident about her, and I’d spend some serious time praying for wisdom from God about my decision, before making any kind of commitment.

But beyond those risks, I don’t think there’s anything fundamentally wrong with having a mail order bride… Unless, of course, you treat her like everything else you buy online: “Well, if I don’t like it I can always send it back”. In other words, “If it doesn’t work out, I can always divorce her.” Nah, that’s not love. If you don’t have the right kind of tender feelings for a mail order bride, and your promise of marriage is not serious enough to last a lifetime, then save her the pain and humiliation of a divorce by not making that commitment at all.

Sandy asks…

what is the law on mail order company that give home approval on an item if you decide you do not want it ?

if they offer a free or paid service to pick the item up and fail to pick it up and providing you have given them ample opportunity and they do not pick it up then charge you for it do you have to pay for it if you do not want it and they do not pick it up is there i web sit i can go to or can you help

Tom & Susan answers:

This is the law in England

Much depends on exactly what happened.

A sale contract only exists if you have agreed to be bound by it. If you ask a company to let you have goods on approval, you have not agreed to buy them. The goods still belong to the company and you are required to take reasonable care of them. If the terms on which they sent you the goods on approval are that they will arrange collection, it’s their responsibility to make the arrangements. If they don’t pick them up, keep them somewhere safe until they do.

The goods are not yours and you cannot keep them unless you agree to buy them. However, if they don’t arrange to collect them within a reasonable period (say, a month) you should write to them. Tell them that you are holding their goods pending collection, and if they don’t make arrangements to collect them within 14 days, you will dispose of them. If they still ignore you, you can keep them.

Different rules apply if the goods are unsolicited. If someone sends you goods by mistake, you should be ready to let them collect them. If they deliberately send you goods, without you asking for them, and with the intention of getting a sale, you are allowed to keep them or sell them without paying.

Donna asks…

Questions about mail-order brides?

Okay. My brother has been paralyzed for nine years because of a shooting. He can’t move anything below his shoulder’s.
He doesn’t go out in public because people are insensitive and will stare at him.
He’s been very depressed for the past few years because his ”friends” don’t even come out to see him anymore, he just sits at home playing World of Warcraft all day.
My sister and I talked to him last night, and he says he really wants a girl. He never goes anywhere to meet them, though, so my sister seriously suggested a mail order brides because she knows quite a few people who actually have mail-order brides, and they’re very happy together. He thinks it would be worth a shot. He has so much to offer a girl, but he doesn’t want them thinking that he’s a duty or an obligation. He wants someone to love him for him, and he’d love to give some girl the opportunity to get out of a bad situation.

Would any of you happen to know where we could look for mail-order brides? He doesn’t care about ethnicity, and he doesn’t demand that they be gorgeous. We just want to be able to look through pictures and read about these girls. Any websites or information you could give us would be great. We just don’t know where to start.
Just to clarify, my sister and I don’t think it’s absoloutely necessary for him to have a girl, but he really just wants someone to love, and to love him. He’s twenty six years old, and he wants to settle-down and have a family.
I would like to hear from somebody who has actually…er..’purchased’ a mail-order bride, for lack of a better word.
We did google it, but I’d like to look on a reliable site. I don’t want my brother getting hurt.
We have tried US dating sites for the past three years. Girls are interested in him until they find out he’s in a wheelchair. They’ve been up front in telling him that they won’t want to deal with the responsibilities that they would have with him.

I don’t like the idea of mail-order brides, but if it’s what he wants, I won’t judge him. If it’ll make him happy.
It does worry me that most of the girls are just looking for a way out of poverty.
However, not all of them are just looking for a free ticket out.
I know it would be awkward, but it could work out. He just wants to give it a shot. :/

Tom & Susan answers:

I always love the answers from the people who are ignorant of the facts of “mail order brides”. Funny how people can declare “they are living in poverty” or “most don’t speak English” when they’ve never actually been in those countries.

That said, you can try a reputable site like http://www.elenasmodels.com

You can post his profile, but be honest and up front about his disability. Communicating with women will cost some money (you can pay an annual membership fee, or “per contact”). Also keep a look out for “professional daters” who aren’t really looking for a relationship.

However, I think your expectations are unrealistic. Keep in mind that the idea of “buying a bride” is not legal or possible. Your brother will end up having to travel to a foreign country to meet a woman before he could ever marry her and bring her to the US, and also prove a loving relationship. That’s the law. And it will cost you approximately $10,000 for him to bring a woman to the US legally.

Mark asks…

Has anyone had any experience with Russian Mail Order Brides?

I’d like to give it a shot. Its my best opportunity to bag a young hottie, at least for a few years.

Tom & Susan answers:

LOL My grandpa had one. She was nice, but expect her to spend all of your money. That’s why she is a mail order bride.

Ruth asks…

work at home mail-order?

I was talking to my friend about work at home opportunities. She told me that her aunt did some program where she stuffed envelopes and actually made a profit out of it but she couldn’t remember the name. I know most of them on the net are 99% scam. Has anyone done this program and for how long? and could you direct me to the program? I would like to learn how to get started with this.

I just want to get some view points out there, I really would appreciate it if you don’t post a bunch of spam regarding a great deal if you go here type website. I just want a response.

Thank you

Tom & Susan answers:

There is NO way a human could make money stuffing envelopes. How many envelopes could they possibly stuff in an hour? You can go to any mailing house that has machines that stuff 100 envelopes a minute and only charge a few cents per 100 envelopes. When we do mailings for the 5000 people in our database, we get the envelopes stuffed, labeled and stamped in less than an hour and it only costs about $10 plus the price of postage. It would take a human weeks to stuff 5000 envelopes

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